NUGGET 14: MOOD SWINGS: 24th July 2011
- Dealing with somebody who suffers from extreme mood fluctuations is tricky business. If you or your partner has big fluctuations in moods, you need to be able to handle that or at-least be tolerant of it.
- Some mood changes are the result of diet. When a person doesn't eat, he or she gets snippy. A piece of fruit, or some quick-energy snack may save you from a divorce if you are married to a person who suffers from severe mood swings.
- When people get extremely stressed or fatigued they can become unusually irritable.
- If mood fluctuations are frequent and extreme, be very careful about entering a long term relationship with that person.It is critical that a couple be aware of any such fluctuations before getting married.
- You don't want to wake up next to someone for the rest of your life who may be ready one day to kiss you passionately and the next day to bite your head off. Consistency is the key to a good match in the area of mood management.
- Discuss with your partner cases of mood swings before marriage.
Have a blessed Sunday
I remain Blessed
Kiago
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
SENSE OF HUMOUR
NUGGET 13: APPRECIATING HUMOR: 23rd July 2011
- A good sense of humor shows up on virtually every "mate shopping list" In fact, a mutual ability to laugh is always in the top five on everybody's lists. "Smile; it will increase your face-value"
- Humor contributes a wealth of highly therapiutic elements to a mariage.
- The old saying "laughter is good medicine" is really true, especially when a marriage is going through tough times, a period of stress, calamity, or struggle.
- Marriages in which there is little laughter tend to do worse during the good times and much worse during the bad times.
- You don't need to be able to generate humor to have a good marriage. Nor is it important that you have the same ability to be witty as your partner. You just need to be able to appreciate humor.
- Who would like to live with a stone-faced person who doesn't acknowledge anything funny?
- When you and your partner laugh at the same things, it may indicate that you have similar values: it may reflect that you have similar intelligence and the same ability to take in and process information.
- If one person gets humor in a joke but the other doesn't, be careful. If a person has a tendency to not get a joke, what does that say about his/her outlook on life, educational background, family background, or overall general attitude?
- If your partner is constantly laughing at his or her own jokes, it may reflect problems in the areas of self-conception, nervousness and discomfort within herself or himself.
- Certainly, what we laugh t says something about a person's character. If your partner's or your own humor centers around meanness, or other people's misfortune, mistakes, or inabilities, watch out. If someone has a sense of humor that is riddled with sarcasm, sprinkled with cutting remarks that can verbally chop a person off at the knees in one swipe, be very careful. While that humor may be extremely funny before you are married, after you are married can be sure that same sarcasm will be aimed at you, and it won't feel so funny.
- Listen carefully to what you laugh about in your relationship.
- Humor that is about somebody else pain will ultimately bring a relationship into a less healthy place.
I remain blessed
Kiago
- A good sense of humor shows up on virtually every "mate shopping list" In fact, a mutual ability to laugh is always in the top five on everybody's lists. "Smile; it will increase your face-value"
- Humor contributes a wealth of highly therapiutic elements to a mariage.
- The old saying "laughter is good medicine" is really true, especially when a marriage is going through tough times, a period of stress, calamity, or struggle.
- Marriages in which there is little laughter tend to do worse during the good times and much worse during the bad times.
- You don't need to be able to generate humor to have a good marriage. Nor is it important that you have the same ability to be witty as your partner. You just need to be able to appreciate humor.
- Who would like to live with a stone-faced person who doesn't acknowledge anything funny?
- When you and your partner laugh at the same things, it may indicate that you have similar values: it may reflect that you have similar intelligence and the same ability to take in and process information.
- If one person gets humor in a joke but the other doesn't, be careful. If a person has a tendency to not get a joke, what does that say about his/her outlook on life, educational background, family background, or overall general attitude?
- If your partner is constantly laughing at his or her own jokes, it may reflect problems in the areas of self-conception, nervousness and discomfort within herself or himself.
- Certainly, what we laugh t says something about a person's character. If your partner's or your own humor centers around meanness, or other people's misfortune, mistakes, or inabilities, watch out. If someone has a sense of humor that is riddled with sarcasm, sprinkled with cutting remarks that can verbally chop a person off at the knees in one swipe, be very careful. While that humor may be extremely funny before you are married, after you are married can be sure that same sarcasm will be aimed at you, and it won't feel so funny.
- Listen carefully to what you laugh about in your relationship.
- Humor that is about somebody else pain will ultimately bring a relationship into a less healthy place.
I remain blessed
Kiago
Thursday, July 21, 2011
APPEARANCE
NUGGET 12: THE LOOKS-22nd July 2011
If there is any dimension in which most people feel competent to select their potential marriage partners,it is the area of appearance.
- Ask most men or women what type of look they like in the opposite sex,and few will have difficulty in telling you.
- Everyone wants to be matched with someone who is attractive, but how attractive? What level of attractiveness is reasonable for you to desire in a potential partner?
- If you are average-looking person, who aspires to marry someone who looks as though they just stepped out of s fashion magazine, you will probably be disappointed.
- Super-attractive people usually marry super-attractive people. We "Commoners", do better with fellow commoners.
- Most men and women are much more comfortable being matched with someone in a range of attractiveness similar to their own.
- Men usually rate themselves abit higher than an objective group of their peers might rate them; women,however,tend to rate themselves lower on an appearance scale.Even fashion models have a diminished view of their own appearance.
- In searching for a mate, you should migrate toward people who appreciate your type of appearance, the same features that other people may not appreciate as much. If you come from a family where the valued standard of beauty is dark hair and skin, you are more likely to find acceptance in groups that looks alot like your relatives. They might rat you higher on appearance simply because they value that particular look.
- Once you are hooked on your partner's appearance, you are tempted to overlook important deficiencies and sometimes glaring inconsistencies in his or her life.
- Appearance tends to become less important in a relationship as the years pass.But character issues and traits such as kindness and compassion will still be important, and will usually go up in value over the years.
- Beyond that, we all are in a losing battle with age. The secret to contentment is to be happy with your body at whatever age you happen to be. Do the best you can to care for your appearance,but if you concentrate on the inner person,you will be more likely to find your soul mate.
- What is more beautiful than two elderly grandparents whose skin may be abit wrinkled,but the sparkle in their eyes for each other is undiminished?
Regards,
Kiago
If there is any dimension in which most people feel competent to select their potential marriage partners,it is the area of appearance.
- Ask most men or women what type of look they like in the opposite sex,and few will have difficulty in telling you.
- Everyone wants to be matched with someone who is attractive, but how attractive? What level of attractiveness is reasonable for you to desire in a potential partner?
- If you are average-looking person, who aspires to marry someone who looks as though they just stepped out of s fashion magazine, you will probably be disappointed.
- Super-attractive people usually marry super-attractive people. We "Commoners", do better with fellow commoners.
- Most men and women are much more comfortable being matched with someone in a range of attractiveness similar to their own.
- Men usually rate themselves abit higher than an objective group of their peers might rate them; women,however,tend to rate themselves lower on an appearance scale.Even fashion models have a diminished view of their own appearance.
- In searching for a mate, you should migrate toward people who appreciate your type of appearance, the same features that other people may not appreciate as much. If you come from a family where the valued standard of beauty is dark hair and skin, you are more likely to find acceptance in groups that looks alot like your relatives. They might rat you higher on appearance simply because they value that particular look.
- Once you are hooked on your partner's appearance, you are tempted to overlook important deficiencies and sometimes glaring inconsistencies in his or her life.
- Appearance tends to become less important in a relationship as the years pass.But character issues and traits such as kindness and compassion will still be important, and will usually go up in value over the years.
- Beyond that, we all are in a losing battle with age. The secret to contentment is to be happy with your body at whatever age you happen to be. Do the best you can to care for your appearance,but if you concentrate on the inner person,you will be more likely to find your soul mate.
- What is more beautiful than two elderly grandparents whose skin may be abit wrinkled,but the sparkle in their eyes for each other is undiminished?
Regards,
Kiago
EDUCATION
NUGGET 11: LEVEL OF EDUCATION: 21st July 2011
- This dimension may be considered more malleable than others. You can go back to school or take online correspondences courses to get more education even if you are retirement age. But it's still wise to count the costs.
- As much as they may desire to do so, most people do not go back to school once they are out of their thirties. Its advisable to look at where you are today when trying to find your soul mate, rather than where you want to be when you complete the next phase of your self-help program.
- Having similar educational backgrounds,matter in marriages. If you are closely matched in your levels of education, at the very minimum you should have a similar appreciation for the value of education and the hard work that it requires.
- Usually educated women need to be matched with men who have equal or better levels of education.
- While it cannot be denied that many marriages work well despite educational inequality, the issue of having a degree becomes more important if your family places a lot of emphasis on "getting your education". If that is your history, you should definitely avoid dating relationships with people of the opposite sex who do not have a good bit of formal education or at least a great appreciation for it and who would find that part of your personality valuable, attractive and appealing.
- A partner who has lower level of education than his/her partner usually has an attitude of"here he/she is looking down at me."
- The disparity in education levels surfaces when you attend parties, meet co-workers and friends and your partner feels embarrassed and awkward.
- If you will find someone who is a lot like you, you can avoid some of the hurt and pain that come from being mismatched in the area of education. Again, it is not a question of how much education you or your partner have or don't have; the important issue is how closely you match.
- While it is impossible to attach grade levels or degrees to marital happiness, it seems that couples who are closer in academic achievements are better matched in other areas as well.
Blessings
Says,
Kiago
- This dimension may be considered more malleable than others. You can go back to school or take online correspondences courses to get more education even if you are retirement age. But it's still wise to count the costs.
- As much as they may desire to do so, most people do not go back to school once they are out of their thirties. Its advisable to look at where you are today when trying to find your soul mate, rather than where you want to be when you complete the next phase of your self-help program.
- Having similar educational backgrounds,matter in marriages. If you are closely matched in your levels of education, at the very minimum you should have a similar appreciation for the value of education and the hard work that it requires.
- Usually educated women need to be matched with men who have equal or better levels of education.
- While it cannot be denied that many marriages work well despite educational inequality, the issue of having a degree becomes more important if your family places a lot of emphasis on "getting your education". If that is your history, you should definitely avoid dating relationships with people of the opposite sex who do not have a good bit of formal education or at least a great appreciation for it and who would find that part of your personality valuable, attractive and appealing.
- A partner who has lower level of education than his/her partner usually has an attitude of"here he/she is looking down at me."
- The disparity in education levels surfaces when you attend parties, meet co-workers and friends and your partner feels embarrassed and awkward.
- If you will find someone who is a lot like you, you can avoid some of the hurt and pain that come from being mismatched in the area of education. Again, it is not a question of how much education you or your partner have or don't have; the important issue is how closely you match.
- While it is impossible to attach grade levels or degrees to marital happiness, it seems that couples who are closer in academic achievements are better matched in other areas as well.
Blessings
Says,
Kiago
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
SPIRITUALITY
NUGGET 10: SIMILARITY OR DIFFERENCE IN SPIRITUALITY- 20th July 2011
- Perhaps in no area is it more crucial to be well matched than in the area of spirituality.
- Spirituality is among those traits that are relatively difficult to change, especially when it seems so much of modern religion tends to focus on conversion from one spiritual state to the another.
- If 2 people are on different wavelengths when it comes to issues of spirituality, one or both of them are going to think the other is a little off his or her rocker!
- People who are not spiritual have difficulty in understanding those who are spiritually inclined.
- People who have similar spiritual perspectives will do much better together.
- Two partners in marriage will have the most satisfaction when they share the most agreement in their faith. Christians are best placed to marry Christians, Jews to Jews, Muslims to Muslims.
- Mixing religious faiths does not make each stronger it dilutes both.
- Within Christianity its good if you marry within your general denomination- Catholics with Catholics, Protestants with Protestants.
- Most world problems are usually of religious origin.
- A marriage is headed for trouble when one person wants to get greatly involved in the church, attend Bible studies, and prayer sessions, give a minimum of 10% 0f his or her income to the church, while the other person has no interest in such matters.
- Discover that marriage, family, and spiritual life belong together. Talk through your spiritual similarities and differences preferably before you get married.
- To have a successful marriage it is important that you and your mate are similar in your beliefs about the role of religion in your lives.
- Two totally irreligious people have better chance of fairing well in marriage than a couple divided by spiritual matters.
- Have a spiritual match!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Regards,
Kiago
- Perhaps in no area is it more crucial to be well matched than in the area of spirituality.
- Spirituality is among those traits that are relatively difficult to change, especially when it seems so much of modern religion tends to focus on conversion from one spiritual state to the another.
- If 2 people are on different wavelengths when it comes to issues of spirituality, one or both of them are going to think the other is a little off his or her rocker!
- People who are not spiritual have difficulty in understanding those who are spiritually inclined.
- People who have similar spiritual perspectives will do much better together.
- Two partners in marriage will have the most satisfaction when they share the most agreement in their faith. Christians are best placed to marry Christians, Jews to Jews, Muslims to Muslims.
- Mixing religious faiths does not make each stronger it dilutes both.
- Within Christianity its good if you marry within your general denomination- Catholics with Catholics, Protestants with Protestants.
- Most world problems are usually of religious origin.
- A marriage is headed for trouble when one person wants to get greatly involved in the church, attend Bible studies, and prayer sessions, give a minimum of 10% 0f his or her income to the church, while the other person has no interest in such matters.
- Discover that marriage, family, and spiritual life belong together. Talk through your spiritual similarities and differences preferably before you get married.
- To have a successful marriage it is important that you and your mate are similar in your beliefs about the role of religion in your lives.
- Two totally irreligious people have better chance of fairing well in marriage than a couple divided by spiritual matters.
- Have a spiritual match!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Regards,
Kiago
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
SIMILAR ENERGY LEVELS
NUGGET 9: ENERGY LEVELS:19th July 2011
Disparity in energy levels causes problems and troubles in many relationships. By energy levels we mean the ability to invest your energy on tasks before you. The duration you can pursue these tasks determines whether your level of energy is high or low. Low energy level persons are at times seen as lazy, while those with high levels of energy are termed as hardworking.
- Marriages in which both partners have similar energy levels seem to be more successful.
- Anytime one person has a lot of energy and the other has little, the satisfaction of both partners is reduced drastically in the marriage. This energy level aspect sometimes come in your sexual relationship where one partner is ready for sex at the slightest encouragement while the other partner says, "Not tonight, sweetheart. I'm tired"
- Two low-energy individuals can get along just fine and be perfectly content, as long as the other areas of their relationship are solid.
- Still some people operate on low wattage. They seem to drag their heels through life, never in a hurry, never highly motivated to do much of anything.
- This dimension is rarely covered by counselors and religious leaders. Commonsense tells us that you want to be married to somebody who is very similar to you in this practical area.
Am blessed,
Says Kiago
Disparity in energy levels causes problems and troubles in many relationships. By energy levels we mean the ability to invest your energy on tasks before you. The duration you can pursue these tasks determines whether your level of energy is high or low. Low energy level persons are at times seen as lazy, while those with high levels of energy are termed as hardworking.
- Marriages in which both partners have similar energy levels seem to be more successful.
- Anytime one person has a lot of energy and the other has little, the satisfaction of both partners is reduced drastically in the marriage. This energy level aspect sometimes come in your sexual relationship where one partner is ready for sex at the slightest encouragement while the other partner says, "Not tonight, sweetheart. I'm tired"
- Two low-energy individuals can get along just fine and be perfectly content, as long as the other areas of their relationship are solid.
- Still some people operate on low wattage. They seem to drag their heels through life, never in a hurry, never highly motivated to do much of anything.
- This dimension is rarely covered by counselors and religious leaders. Commonsense tells us that you want to be married to somebody who is very similar to you in this practical area.
Am blessed,
Says Kiago
Sunday, July 17, 2011
INTELLECT
NUGGET 8- LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE- 18th July 2011
- We are not talking of education but smartness. Because it is possible to be extremely intelligent without having a formal academic education.
- If one partner has a high intelligence quotient and the other partner's IQ is substantially lower, the couple are likely to be miserable together.
- The level of intellect we have, determines the depth of our communication with our partners. Don't marry someone with whom you would have a discrepancy in levels of intelligence.
- You cannot change your intelligence by reading books, it is a package of genes you inherited from your parents.
- Intelligence Quotient has to do with neural circuits in a person's brain. It relates to the ability to grasp new information, how rapidly the mind functions, how well ideas are conceptualized and information stored in the mind.
- Some people have everyday, commonsense intelligence, and some have "street smarts".
- Please test your IQ from the WEXLER SCALE. Compare your results with those of your partner. Any difference beyond ten is hazardous.
- Intellectual imbalances in marriage causes one person to talk down to the other,or one partner is too intellectually intimidated to ever voice a contrary opinion or stand up for himself or herself.
- Secure services of a qualified therapist to administer some basic IQ tests to you and your partner to avoid misery in your marriage. Make it a fun activity, a valuable learning tool, rather than a threatening experience. BUT take the results seriously.
- If your scores are similar, rejoice or move to examine your relationship in regard to the other dimensions. If your scores are greatly dissimilar i. e. more than 10 (If you and your partner are not in the same league intellectually...be friendlier to your partner and tell him/her the TRUTH)
I remain blessed
Kiago
- We are not talking of education but smartness. Because it is possible to be extremely intelligent without having a formal academic education.
- If one partner has a high intelligence quotient and the other partner's IQ is substantially lower, the couple are likely to be miserable together.
- The level of intellect we have, determines the depth of our communication with our partners. Don't marry someone with whom you would have a discrepancy in levels of intelligence.
- You cannot change your intelligence by reading books, it is a package of genes you inherited from your parents.
- Intelligence Quotient has to do with neural circuits in a person's brain. It relates to the ability to grasp new information, how rapidly the mind functions, how well ideas are conceptualized and information stored in the mind.
- Some people have everyday, commonsense intelligence, and some have "street smarts".
- Please test your IQ from the WEXLER SCALE. Compare your results with those of your partner. Any difference beyond ten is hazardous.
- Intellectual imbalances in marriage causes one person to talk down to the other,or one partner is too intellectually intimidated to ever voice a contrary opinion or stand up for himself or herself.
- Secure services of a qualified therapist to administer some basic IQ tests to you and your partner to avoid misery in your marriage. Make it a fun activity, a valuable learning tool, rather than a threatening experience. BUT take the results seriously.
- If your scores are similar, rejoice or move to examine your relationship in regard to the other dimensions. If your scores are greatly dissimilar i. e. more than 10 (If you and your partner are not in the same league intellectually...be friendlier to your partner and tell him/her the TRUTH)
I remain blessed
Kiago
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