NUGGET 21: YOUR CURIOSITY-31St July 2011
-Some people are naturally curious it is part of their core personality traits- they want to know how things work, why people do the things they do, what ,makes the difference between success or failure, what something looks, tastes, or feels like.
- They have a natural inquisitiveness and will ask you a million questions about everything from "what's it like to be a counsellor?" "why do you like to wear a blue shirt? they are not being snoopy, they honestly are fascinated with the details.
- A couple may be passing by a neighbourhood and one says "Oh look at the progress they are making on that new house upon the hill" The other says, "That is great, did you notice they still haven't fixed that brick on the curb." This is curiosity but not to the same things.
- Some people read newspapers to satisfy their curiosity, other watch news for information(this is curiosity)
- Having dissimilar amounts of curiosity would not necessarily be a deal breaker in a relationship, but it is something to consider seriously. People enjoy greater satisfaction if they relate more easily in this dimension.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
INDUSTRY
NUGGET 20-SIMILARITY OR DIFFERENCE IN INDUSTRY-30th July 2011
This is a person's attitude and orientation towards work.
- Industry is slightly different from energy and ambition. A person could have a lot of energy and ambition but spend his or her life outside picking up rocks.The person with industry may say, "and if that doesn't work, I will study and become a palaeontologist. I will work hard and make something good out of these rocks, regardless of what it takes."
- The industrious person says' I will do whatever is necessary to succeed in my chosen field of endevour.
- If one person is a hard worker and the other is always trying to get out of work or avoids or ignores it, tension is going to be created in the relationship.
- A lazy person and an industrious person are sure to disagree on many of the basic issues of life, including everything from what time to get up, go to bed, to how to spend weekends or vacations.
- To ensure the greatest amount of satisfaction in marriage, you should seek to be matched with someone who is very similar to you in the industry dimension.
Remain Blessed
Kiago
This is a person's attitude and orientation towards work.
- Industry is slightly different from energy and ambition. A person could have a lot of energy and ambition but spend his or her life outside picking up rocks.The person with industry may say, "and if that doesn't work, I will study and become a palaeontologist. I will work hard and make something good out of these rocks, regardless of what it takes."
- The industrious person says' I will do whatever is necessary to succeed in my chosen field of endevour.
- If one person is a hard worker and the other is always trying to get out of work or avoids or ignores it, tension is going to be created in the relationship.
- A lazy person and an industrious person are sure to disagree on many of the basic issues of life, including everything from what time to get up, go to bed, to how to spend weekends or vacations.
- To ensure the greatest amount of satisfaction in marriage, you should seek to be matched with someone who is very similar to you in the industry dimension.
Remain Blessed
Kiago
Thursday, July 28, 2011
VALUES
NUGGET 19: MY VALUES VERSUS YOUR VALUES-29th July 2011
Most people tend to hold their value close to their hearts. Certainly you want to be closely aligned with your partner on any strongly held beliefs or convictions, including your attitude towards faith, patriotism, how to raise children, or a host of ethical and character issues.
-It is also critical for marital partners to have similar values concerning the everyday essentials of living for instance, if you have a value that promotes saving money, opposed to a value of spending money lavishly on yourself.You don't want to marry a person whose value in this area is too dissimilar to yours.
- If you and your partner are not similar in your attitudes toward the earnings, saving, giving and spending of money, you are getting yourself up for a lifetime of struggles if you get married.
- Money matters so much because many of us believe that money is power, to some it means security, control or also independence.
- You may be reluctant to admit it, but your money is a reflection of you. It means it is simple to see where your priorities, commitments and other values lie merely by examining how you earn and spend your money. The way we use money reflects our security or insecurities in the are of our self-conception.
- Also check your values on political and socials issues. If you value caring for the need, you don't want to marry someone who is not moved by their infirmities.
I remain Blessed
Kiago
Most people tend to hold their value close to their hearts. Certainly you want to be closely aligned with your partner on any strongly held beliefs or convictions, including your attitude towards faith, patriotism, how to raise children, or a host of ethical and character issues.
-It is also critical for marital partners to have similar values concerning the everyday essentials of living for instance, if you have a value that promotes saving money, opposed to a value of spending money lavishly on yourself.You don't want to marry a person whose value in this area is too dissimilar to yours.
- If you and your partner are not similar in your attitudes toward the earnings, saving, giving and spending of money, you are getting yourself up for a lifetime of struggles if you get married.
- Money matters so much because many of us believe that money is power, to some it means security, control or also independence.
- You may be reluctant to admit it, but your money is a reflection of you. It means it is simple to see where your priorities, commitments and other values lie merely by examining how you earn and spend your money. The way we use money reflects our security or insecurities in the are of our self-conception.
- Also check your values on political and socials issues. If you value caring for the need, you don't want to marry someone who is not moved by their infirmities.
I remain Blessed
Kiago
ARTISTIC PASSION
NUGGET 18: SIMILARITY OR DIFFERENT ARTISTIC PASSION-28th July 2011
- Most of us enjoy the creative arts.We love to hear a great singer or a skilled instrumentalist , perform,or to visit an art gallery in which the works of the masters are displayed.we appreciate a beautiful poem or a finely crafted novel.
- Artistic persons are better married to artistic persons. If a person who has a great deal of artistic passion and has little appreciation for it, that relationship is compromised before it even gets started.
- If you love a violin,don't marry the person who has never heard violin concert but loves cowboys.
-For many people who are artistically inclined, their art is central to their lives. It is not merely something they enjoy it,it is something they live and breath.
- Interestingly a person with alot of artistic passion often also has a high level of sexual passion. But if they do not find you present,involved and appreciative of their artistic passion, the sexual aspect of the relationship will diminish accordingly.
- Many artistic people are non-traditional,many are loners and non-conformists.
- Our education system do not acknowledge people of artistic nature.They end up being lone rangers.
- If you and your partner share a mutual level of artistic passion, you may be able to overlook other deficiencies. If you are strong in artistic passion, then there is a guarantee that your soul-mate will be strong in that area as well.
Sorry for the delay...
Kiago
- Most of us enjoy the creative arts.We love to hear a great singer or a skilled instrumentalist , perform,or to visit an art gallery in which the works of the masters are displayed.we appreciate a beautiful poem or a finely crafted novel.
- Artistic persons are better married to artistic persons. If a person who has a great deal of artistic passion and has little appreciation for it, that relationship is compromised before it even gets started.
- If you love a violin,don't marry the person who has never heard violin concert but loves cowboys.
-For many people who are artistically inclined, their art is central to their lives. It is not merely something they enjoy it,it is something they live and breath.
- Interestingly a person with alot of artistic passion often also has a high level of sexual passion. But if they do not find you present,involved and appreciative of their artistic passion, the sexual aspect of the relationship will diminish accordingly.
- Many artistic people are non-traditional,many are loners and non-conformists.
- Our education system do not acknowledge people of artistic nature.They end up being lone rangers.
- If you and your partner share a mutual level of artistic passion, you may be able to overlook other deficiencies. If you are strong in artistic passion, then there is a guarantee that your soul-mate will be strong in that area as well.
Sorry for the delay...
Kiago
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
SEXUAL PASSION
NUGGET 17: SEXUAL PASSION; 27th July 2011-12-20
A couple visited a therapist to express their feeling on their sexual life; she complained, “He wants sex all the time. At least 4 times a week” on a split screen, he tells the doctor they almost never have sex: “Four times a week at most.”
- This dimension is one which partners who want a good relationship must be rather closely matched.
- It simply makes good sense that in this most intimate of human interaction, a man and a woman ought to have similar attitudes, interests and desires.
- If a man has a great deal of testosterone and his wife has low sexual desire that is a formula for trouble. The man will feel rejected and the woman will feel badgered, manipulated and used every time he pushes her for more sexual intimacy.
- A woman wants to know what a man is thinking, what he is feeling, she wants him to care about her and to be interested in what she is thinking and feeling before she ever considers sharing her body with him. Men think, “Let’s just have sex and then we’ll talk...if we absolutely must.”
- If you have been with the same man for a while, and he never pressures you for sex and never wants to “take you out to the woods”, and if he never wants to play his radio in the car with the headlights off and no moon in the sky, and if he never really puts the pressure on you to make an important boundary decision in the area of sex, be careful of that man!
- You want a marriage partner who is highly sexualized.
- If you want to make a determination about how you will do sexually with a man, KISS HIM. The kiss is the best diagnostic devise known to mankind for determining how you and your mate’s level of sexual excitement will compare. If imaginary flames fly all around you when your lips touch, then you know that you probably have plenty of passion there.
- Sexual bonding before marriage reduces objectivity. Therapists discourage sexual involvement with your partner before marriage.
- The desire to touch, kiss hold each other and other physical expressions flow naturally in a truly loving relationship. To give free reign to them before you are married is foolish. Have self-discipline.
- One day a pilot was flying into a busy airport during a storm, just as the plane was about to touch down, he made a split-second decision to lift back-up. What the passengers didn’t know at the time was that another plane was coming in on the same runway from the opposite direction. After landing he explained to the passengers: “Oh I made that decision 15 years ago”. He had learnt to deal with crisis while in college. We also need to learn how to deal/ control sexual passion before venturing into marriage. If you cannot control your sexual passion before marriage, you will not control it in marriage.
- Prepare for marriage before getting into it.....
I remain blessed
Kiago.
A couple visited a therapist to express their feeling on their sexual life; she complained, “He wants sex all the time. At least 4 times a week” on a split screen, he tells the doctor they almost never have sex: “Four times a week at most.”
- This dimension is one which partners who want a good relationship must be rather closely matched.
- It simply makes good sense that in this most intimate of human interaction, a man and a woman ought to have similar attitudes, interests and desires.
- If a man has a great deal of testosterone and his wife has low sexual desire that is a formula for trouble. The man will feel rejected and the woman will feel badgered, manipulated and used every time he pushes her for more sexual intimacy.
- A woman wants to know what a man is thinking, what he is feeling, she wants him to care about her and to be interested in what she is thinking and feeling before she ever considers sharing her body with him. Men think, “Let’s just have sex and then we’ll talk...if we absolutely must.”
- If you have been with the same man for a while, and he never pressures you for sex and never wants to “take you out to the woods”, and if he never wants to play his radio in the car with the headlights off and no moon in the sky, and if he never really puts the pressure on you to make an important boundary decision in the area of sex, be careful of that man!
- You want a marriage partner who is highly sexualized.
- If you want to make a determination about how you will do sexually with a man, KISS HIM. The kiss is the best diagnostic devise known to mankind for determining how you and your mate’s level of sexual excitement will compare. If imaginary flames fly all around you when your lips touch, then you know that you probably have plenty of passion there.
- Sexual bonding before marriage reduces objectivity. Therapists discourage sexual involvement with your partner before marriage.
- The desire to touch, kiss hold each other and other physical expressions flow naturally in a truly loving relationship. To give free reign to them before you are married is foolish. Have self-discipline.
- One day a pilot was flying into a busy airport during a storm, just as the plane was about to touch down, he made a split-second decision to lift back-up. What the passengers didn’t know at the time was that another plane was coming in on the same runway from the opposite direction. After landing he explained to the passengers: “Oh I made that decision 15 years ago”. He had learnt to deal with crisis while in college. We also need to learn how to deal/ control sexual passion before venturing into marriage. If you cannot control your sexual passion before marriage, you will not control it in marriage.
- Prepare for marriage before getting into it.....
I remain blessed
Kiago.
Monday, July 25, 2011
AMBITION
NUGGET 16: AMBITION; 26th July 2011
If you have ever tried to motivate a person with low ambition, you probably understand well what we mean by disparity and parity in ambition.
- Matching in ambition is not primarily a matter of how much ambition you and your partner have; the important issue is that you have similar amounts of ambition.
- A highly motivated, competitive, zealous, “Get-up-get-moving-get-ahead” type of person is simply not going to enjoy being married to a person who is content with the status quo and merely wants to “kick back and enjoy life”
- If there is a great discrepancy between the amount of ambition the two partners possess, inevitably there will be stress and increased conflict in that relationship. One person passionately wants to pursue his or her goals while the other person resents the time, effort, money and energy expended to do so.
- Problems due to differences in ambition levels will surface most often within the first 5 to 10 years of marriage. Unquestionably this is why so many people on a fast track in their careers have trouble holding their marriages together.
- Men and women who pour themselves into their careers – some because the career demands it, other s because they are simply so passionate about it- have little left to give to their spouses at a time when the spouses really need them.
- Two people, who are on similar tracks regarding ambition, can be tremendous encouragers to each other.
- If you find someone with whom you can share a similar level of ambition, your life together can be one of contentment, even when you are working in some frenetic way to accomplish a task, beat a deadline, or meet a need.
- Just make sure that you both match in regard to ambition. Otherwise, your relationship is likely to suffer, especially in the area of sexual passion and intimacy.
I remain blessed
Kiago.
If you have ever tried to motivate a person with low ambition, you probably understand well what we mean by disparity and parity in ambition.
- Matching in ambition is not primarily a matter of how much ambition you and your partner have; the important issue is that you have similar amounts of ambition.
- A highly motivated, competitive, zealous, “Get-up-get-moving-get-ahead” type of person is simply not going to enjoy being married to a person who is content with the status quo and merely wants to “kick back and enjoy life”
- If there is a great discrepancy between the amount of ambition the two partners possess, inevitably there will be stress and increased conflict in that relationship. One person passionately wants to pursue his or her goals while the other person resents the time, effort, money and energy expended to do so.
- Problems due to differences in ambition levels will surface most often within the first 5 to 10 years of marriage. Unquestionably this is why so many people on a fast track in their careers have trouble holding their marriages together.
- Men and women who pour themselves into their careers – some because the career demands it, other s because they are simply so passionate about it- have little left to give to their spouses at a time when the spouses really need them.
- Two people, who are on similar tracks regarding ambition, can be tremendous encouragers to each other.
- If you find someone with whom you can share a similar level of ambition, your life together can be one of contentment, even when you are working in some frenetic way to accomplish a task, beat a deadline, or meet a need.
- Just make sure that you both match in regard to ambition. Otherwise, your relationship is likely to suffer, especially in the area of sexual passion and intimacy.
I remain blessed
Kiago.
TRADITIONAL VERSUS NON-TRADITIONAL.
NUGGET 15 TRADITIONAL VERSUS NON-TRADITONAL PERSONALITY TYPES 25/07/2011
• If one person likes life to be rather predictable and prefers to plan for events such as birthday parties, vacations or weddings, you are probably dealing with a traditional type of personality.
• On the other hand, if you or your partner loves to just “go with the flow” doing what comes naturally or whatever happens to inspire at the moment, you should expect a lot of spontaneity and non-traditional personality quirks.
• The problem of curse is that when a planner and a free spirit get together; you will usually end up with friction leading to spontaneous combustion.
• Sometimes non traditional people have grown up with frustration and anger in relation to the pressures of societal customs, their anger is buried deeply in within or expressed in more acceptable ways; promoting fragrantly anti-traditional lifestyles, as can be seen in many activists groups.
• The non-traditional are saying. “I’ve been hurt and I’m mad, and i am not going to confirm to you or anyone else”. They carry their social anger with them long after the fact they do not want to give the traditional society any credit.
• Other non-traditional types simply enjoy the freedom to be different. They don’t want to be encumbered by the constraints of “Norman society” . they regard traditionalism as boring.
• If you are a traditionalist type try to maintain a relationship with a non-traditional person, it can keep you feeling disorganized and disconcerted.
• What complicates matters more is that people with opposite personality traits often find each other extremely attractive. Mark Twain observed that there are two kinds of people in this world; one who is always ten minute early, and another ten minutes late. Furthermore, Twain added sardonically, “ They are always married to each other!”
• Opposites do attract, they click for a while because they complement other. If they happen to marry, person proceed to pursue the prime purpose of marriage (in their mind at least) attempting to change his or her partner into a reproduction of himself or herself.
• If one person likes life to be rather predictable and prefers to plan for events such as birthday parties, vacations or weddings, you are probably dealing with a traditional type of personality.
• On the other hand, if you or your partner loves to just “go with the flow” doing what comes naturally or whatever happens to inspire at the moment, you should expect a lot of spontaneity and non-traditional personality quirks.
• The problem of curse is that when a planner and a free spirit get together; you will usually end up with friction leading to spontaneous combustion.
• Sometimes non traditional people have grown up with frustration and anger in relation to the pressures of societal customs, their anger is buried deeply in within or expressed in more acceptable ways; promoting fragrantly anti-traditional lifestyles, as can be seen in many activists groups.
• The non-traditional are saying. “I’ve been hurt and I’m mad, and i am not going to confirm to you or anyone else”. They carry their social anger with them long after the fact they do not want to give the traditional society any credit.
• Other non-traditional types simply enjoy the freedom to be different. They don’t want to be encumbered by the constraints of “Norman society” . they regard traditionalism as boring.
• If you are a traditionalist type try to maintain a relationship with a non-traditional person, it can keep you feeling disorganized and disconcerted.
• What complicates matters more is that people with opposite personality traits often find each other extremely attractive. Mark Twain observed that there are two kinds of people in this world; one who is always ten minute early, and another ten minutes late. Furthermore, Twain added sardonically, “ They are always married to each other!”
• Opposites do attract, they click for a while because they complement other. If they happen to marry, person proceed to pursue the prime purpose of marriage (in their mind at least) attempting to change his or her partner into a reproduction of himself or herself.
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