Wednesday, October 30, 2024

8 Redflags of emotionally Bad people

 8 signs someone is actually not a good person (even if they seem nice on the surface)

It’s often said that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But sometimes, the cover can be misleading.

People can seem nice and friendly on the surface. They smile, they’re polite, and they say all the right things. But beneath that charming exterior, they might not be so kind after all.

Not everyone who seems nice is a good person. Unfortunately, some individuals are skilled at projecting a positive image while hiding their true colors.

In this article, I’ll talk about 8 signs that someone may not be as good as they seem, even if they appear nice on the surface. It’s all about recognizing the subtle signs and trusting your gut instincts.

1) They’re overly critical

Some people have a knack for spotting the smallest flaws in everything around them. They’re quick to criticize others, even for trivial matters.

It’s one thing to offer constructive criticism when it’s asked for or needed. But if someone consistently points out negatives without ever acknowledging the positives, it can be a sign of a deeper issue.

Being overly critical can be a sign that someone is not as nice as they seem. It may indicate that they have a negative outlook on life, or that they use criticism as a way to elevate themselves at the expense of others.

2) They don’t respect your boundaries

Personal boundaries are crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. Whether it’s respecting your time, space, or emotions, acknowledging boundaries is a sign of respect.

This is a red flag that someone might not be as good of a person as they appear to be. They may seem nice on the surface, but consistently ignoring or disrespecting your boundaries is a sign of a lack of respect for you as an individual.

3) They’re constantly gossiping

Gossip might seem harmless, even entertaining at times, but it’s often a sign of a deeper issue. Individuals who gossip excessively usually lack empathy and respect for others’ privacy.

4) They’re never wrong

We all know someone who never admits to being wrong. No matter the situation, they always find a way to turn the tables or shift the blame.

This kind of behavior indicates an inability to accept responsibility for their actions. It’s a sign of arrogance and a lack of self-awareness – traits that don’t align with being a good person.

A person who appears nice on the surface but is never willing to admit their mistakes or accept responsibility could be hiding a less admirable character.

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s how we handle them that reveals our true character.

5) They don’t show empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a fundamental trait of good people. When someone is hurting, a good person can empathize with their pain, even if they haven’t personally experienced it.

I’ve noticed that people who seem nice but lack genuine empathy often fail to connect on a deeper level. They might offer a quick “I’m sorry” when you’re going through a tough time, but they fail to show any real understanding or concern for your feelings.

A lack of empathy can be heartbreaking. It can leave you feeling alone and invalidated in your struggles.


6) They take more than they give

Relationships should be a balance of give and take. But some people seem to take more than they give, leaving you feeling drained and unappreciated.

This lack of reciprocity can be a sign that someone isn’t as good a person as they appear. Even if they seem nice on the surface, a person who consistently takes more than they give may be using you for their own benefit.

7) They’re always playing the victim

Do you know someone who always seems to have something to complain about? No matter what happens, they always find a way to make themselves the victim.

This kind of behavior can be indicative of a person who refuses to take responsibility for their life. Instead of owning up to their mistakes or facing their problems, they choose to blame others.

Playing the victim all the time is not a sign of a good person. It shows a lack of self-awareness and an unwillingness to grow or change.

8) They’re dishonest

At the end of the day, honesty forms the backbone of all healthy relationships and interactions.

If someone consistently lies or hides the truth, it’s a clear sign they’re not a good person, no matter how nice they may seem on the surface. Dishonesty erodes trust and can cause significant harm to both individuals and relationships.

No one is perfect, but honesty is a trait that should never be compromised. If someone can’t be truthful, their niceness is likely just a facade hiding their true character.

Conclusion

Sometimes, it can be challenging to distinguish between someone who’s genuinely good and someone who’s merely putting on a show. But it’s important to remember that actions speak louder than words.

A person might seem nice on the surface, but their behavior and the way they treat others can reveal their true character. From being overly critical to constantly playing the victim, these signs should serve as a warning that someone might not be as good as they seem.

As Maya Angelou once said, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” So keep your eyes open and trust your instincts. It takes time to know someone fully, so be patient and watch their actions. After all, a good person is defined not by how nice they appear, but by how they act.


 

Sunday, June 2, 2024

3rd Service

Today I attended the Deliverance  Zambezi church for a service. This happens to be the second time to attend this church. Today the speaker focused on staying in the presence of God. I love his presence for there is Fullness of Joy, at his Right Hand, pleasures forever more. He highlighted that he applied one time for a job and since he knew God, he went before him. It was practical and powerful. 

With me were Beth Wachira (my wife), Njambi and Wambui. This is my family that includes David who is in School. Beth gave her life to Jesus on Monday. I did not doubt her salvation since I had expected this for many days. I had been praying that one day she would see the light. Someone sent me 400 to our charisma equity account after reviving it.

From the last article I had been given back KAN 836N by my brother John who had bought it from me in 2022. He resold it to me at 350,000. He however said I could sell it on his behalf. I am currently driving  it in Nairobi. I have borrowed 76,000 from Robin to sustain my lifestyle. I am asking God to help me get clients or give me an example. 

I am having a session at St. Anne's Girls Jogoo road, speaking on attitudes. Given out 3 Mathematics booster. 

The deputy giving me pressure on her piece of cake. I am operating in debts but believe there is a way out. I have packed the car beside a wall because it's window is Dysfunctional. 


I am Kiago

St. Anne's Girls Jogoo road

Nairobi

Tuesday, May 28, 2024

2nd Sunday Church

 On the 19th of May 2024 I decided to go back to church for spiritual nourishment and for the sake of my kids who had not stepped into a church. We went to Deliverance Church Zambezi. This is a lively church that preached the goodness of Jesus and the power of the Holy spirit. I learnt alot about purpose. On the 26th of May 2024, I had a similar experience in KAG Sibanga Kitale whereby, the speaker  explained how God speaks to us. The worship was very timely with aspects of God being alpha and omega. I did enjoy the service. After the service, I stayed at my sister's place and had communion with her and her kids, we agreed that health and wealth would be our portion today and forever. I traveled to Nairobi on 27th using KAN 836N that I had previously sold to my brother John. He is selling the car to me or any willing buyer at KES 350,000. I slept at Naivasha and proceeded to Zambezi the following day. It was a beautiful trip. When I landed, Beth had given her life to Christ. I congratulated her.


I remain Kiago

Nairobi Kenya

Friday, May 17, 2024

My Value

Everyday we stumble on our aha moments for the day. The same aha that Archimendes in his research on floatation or bouyancy realized, that the amount of liquid displaced was equivalent to the mass of the object immersed in water. He shouted "Eureka", same name as one of the apparatus in a science laboratory called Eureka can. The daily realization presents an avenue where one's thoughts help in providing solutions to existing problems. 
Today, I would like to delve into my constant search of engagement now that Ethiopia is done. I may spend time crying or simply find the value that I possess that can benefit others and bring financial returns to me. I must dig deep and simply outline my current skill set as well as my current strengths. Needless to say, I have to recognize that I have been busy for the past 7 years, I have been capacity building young persons in Entrepreneurship, Marketing and Lifeskills both locally and internationally. Here I used my Diploma in Information Studies until 2022 when I graduated with a Degree in Psychology. The degree opened an international door in Ethiopia where I facilitated the capacity building in Ethiopia. 
My skill set include but not limited to photography, videography, debt collection,  mass training, motivational speaking, counselling, coaching, writing, business development, business management and mass speaking. There are skills that  need sharpening and a little practice. I will seek training in videography (editing), I will buy a professional camera or rent one for both my youtube, tiktok and documentaries. I currently have a database of 700 followers on tiktok and several likes for my content. 
My current social capital are but not limited to; Peninah Suge(Counselor and educational coach) Nerea Othieno (deputy headteacher), Salome Gaitho (practicing counselor and supervisor), Robin Mwenda (investor and advocate), Edith(social services), Joshua Wangunyu(Videography), Moses Wangunyu (NGO aspects), Onesmus Mogire (transportation), Francis Macharia (walk mate and confidant). 
I have a laptop and my phone

Tuesday, May 14, 2024

Away with Reasons

 From the 10th of May when I posted that I was looking for a coach, imagine those I reached out to failed me except a response from Victoria and Caroline psychologists on therapy route. Caroline defined her charge even without understanding what I was seeking. Victoria set a date to meet me on Tuesday(Today) at 9:00am. She neither showed up nor gave an apology. Is this the coaching world...does it mean we should face the world as it after training and believe in ourselves? Or should we avoid trying to be perfect? These and many other questions ringer in my mind. 

On the flipside I have been swallowing the bitter truth that Miramar International Foundation has not paid us the April Salary plus 3,000 used for uber from the airport. I have also been coming to the realization that one of my friend (as much as I thought) is not one but a traitor. He goes behind my back and discusses me with others. This is the betrayal of the highest order. He has my money that I would have used to pay my bills during this challenging moment of my life. 

I remain positive, I walk every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Yesterday I walked for 30kms, so tomorrow since I have an engagement, I won't walk. I will be facilitating a session at Moi Girls Ngong Road for the Form 4s. My stay in Kenya is aligning and believe in the best that will come to me. I am fatigued and also demotivated. I seek God and opportunities to support my family and self.

I am Kiago

Nairobi Kenya

Friday, May 10, 2024

Next Page of Career

Good morning, they say insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. For 7 years, I worked for an upcoming NGO that presented me with few benefits. I am seeking to join the international NGO space, with limited understanding of how to get there. So I am appealing to anyone who can coach me to that space, to inbox me...this went on LinkedIn. I realized that if I did the same thing, I would just achieve the same...

Thursday, April 25, 2024

LANDED IN KENYA

 After working in Ethiopia for 13 months, my tenure there come to an end. I had been working as a trainer in Agribusiness for the past 7 years with the 13 months spent working in Addisababa. Coming home had a sense of closure interms of working for Miramar International Foundation. The Foundation had contracted me for KES 65,000 Per month, 2,000 allowance, paid house rent and 5,000 food allowance. We lived in a 3 Bedroom house where I stayed in the master ensuite. It is in Ethiopia that I stopped drinking and smoking, this is something to remember. 

When I landed on the 22nd April 2024, I had not mentioned to my wife and children of my coming home. With a small amount of savings I needed to come home quietly. I landed at 13:15 hours and proceeded home together with my colleague. His wife had come to welcome him. I had no one to pick me from the airport. When we asked for uber money, our accountant told us that she had no petty cash and that she had not been informed of our arrival. I sensed foul play but since my contract had expired I prayed to God that the same organization would pay our April Salaries as we had been working.

Here is the challenge, I am to start afresh, no job to come to, everything seems like a closed door conceals my destiny. I had thought I am coming back to the Asphalt machine as the marketing manager. The machine has not operated from February. So today I am meeting the Directors to see whether I can revive it or make closure with it. I met Millicent in Ethiopia who Works for an International NGO, I am hoping she will help me get a job in the Refugees space. Finally there is an NGO not sure whether it is real or fake dealing with women that has invited me for a meeting next Wednesday. 

I want also to upgrade Charisma Resource into a Limited Company, register with NITA and also get certified with International labour Organization as a trainer. All these are doors I am trying to open for myself.

 There is also the special door that God has promised to open for me. The door  sounded like one in Tigre in Ethiopia...I had a dream on the job while fasting for 3 dry fast. I can only wait for God's timing however my financial state is bad, the source of income dries by end of this month. Next month I am all faith. 

This is 16 years from the time I had a similar experience when I landed in Nairobi from Eldoret. I dont want to call all my friends in Nairobi. Wacha nipambane. I am a man who has a Big God...

I received my psychologist certificate from the Counselors and Psychologists Board...I can also be a therapist in Kenya and Abroad...

Twende kazi.. ,whetever will be born i will suckle...

I Am Kiago

In Nairobi Kenya