NO ONE IS AN ANGEL

After evading writing this blog for a few years, I feel that time has come for me to embark on this noble task. During my holiday, I have muled on information, researched and embraced many challenges. I have also made many mistakes but have been consoled by one Albert Eistein in his quote:"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new". I would however appreaciate lessons learnt for the past few years. No one is perfect,though all of us blame others for what affects us. We never take a moment to take stock of our lives. We need to ask ourselves the role we played in getting where we are. We need to ask ourselves the following questions: 1. Why am I here? 2. What roles did I play to be here? 3. How can I change the situation? 4. Do I need help from a proffesional or can i handle my issues? 5. Have I been here before? and if yes how did i handle the issue? These and many other questions can help us get through a serious issue and overcome the stress that come with it. I remain yours Kiago

THE PATERNITY FACTOR

This weekend I unveiled a mysterythat I cannot let it go without writing it down. In my day to day business of private investigations, I happened to get a case to investigate on infidelity. I had not known that many people cannot be trusted until I landed on this eveidence. The case involved a married man and his friends wife who worked in the same office. After leaving the office, they decided to have 3 for the road at bar near their office. I had been tipped by the husband to follow them up and record every of those happennings. So that evening I drove to the bar they were in and since I had her photo I could easily tell that she was the lady before me. Drinking never leaves a man sober,it also messes up women especially when they juice the so called "Pant remover"(Sminoff black ice.) The lady sipped the first beer, the second, and the third...she then proceeded to the ladies to relieve herself. I thought the man would be patient but followed her to the ladies, pretending to go to the gents. My investigation would not be complete if I missed this scenario.I proceeded to the counter and paid my bill. Two minutes later I was combing the gents and the ladies to ascertain my presumption. I was right they were in the ladies enjoying every of they coveted dreams. The sigh inside attracted a few ladies who were around the pub. I had to get a snapshot of this. So I pushed the door in and was not shocked to find the "couple" pants down. My camera had to get this inorder to get paid for my job.After the photo I had to vanish so as not to attract the wrath of the "couple". I called her husband and told him of the progress. I recommended a physical examination before the woman went to the bathroom. Remember that these guys had not used any protection. So the husband proceeded home and waited for this culprit. The rest is history. The days of a thief are numbered.
With this investigation I have decided to major my investigations on relationships.As a company I will provide solutions for infidelity. So do you want any infidelity verification? just call 0720-545788 or 0751-390 790
We Promise to give you the information you want

SHANGRI-LA

NUGGET 29: DOMINANCE AND SUBMISSIVENESS-08 August 2011
- A dominant personality is the person who always wants to be the boss; he wants to decide where to eat dinner tonight:she wants absolute say on what colour the drapes should be in your home.
- He has the strongest opinion, loudest complaint or most vociferous case for what needs to be done.
- The submissive acquiesces willingly when the slightest pressure is exerted or opposition is raised against her/him. She is a peacemaker, doesn't like to fight, and would rather be taken advantage of than oppose anything but the most glaring inequity.
- 2 Dominant partners go to war with each other. 2 submissive partners will bore each other to death.
- In the best marriage, the individuals will both have moderate amounts of dominance and submissiveness.
- Indecisiveness is one of the most irritating aspects of the submissive person's makeup; totalitarianism can be one of the most dangerous aspects of the person who is high in dominance. Ideally, a good relationship will have a balance of both.
N/B After the 29 nuggets, we are in a moment I call SHANGRI-LA, a place of bliss and where one makes informed decisions
- Remember to know your partner for at least 2 years before getting married.
- Chemistry is the fire that stirs Love. Your relationship should have a lot of it. If she doesn't turn you on, hold on, that may be a clear sign that you are not compatible. Love minus chemistry is equals to friendship.
-We cover 2 more aspects before we close this subject.
i) 7 things you check before you say I DO- to be covered on 9th August.
ii) 50 Similarities and differences- to be covered on 10th August.
Regards
Kiago
www.standbymanagementsolutions.webs.com

KINDNESS

NUGGET 28: YOUR KINDNESS: 07 AUGUST 2011
- It might surprise you to discover that in survey after survey, both men and women rate kindness as the second most important quality to look in a mate.
- Men rate vitality as the number one trait, while women rate security as number one trait. Both rate kindness as number two.
- Watch carefully how your partner treats his or her family members, business associates, friends, or even strangers. Does he rail at other drivers on the highway? Does she cut people off as she is exiting the parking garage, or does she allow people to pull out in front of her?
- Don't be fooled by his/her kindness in your initial dating days: flowers are not enough to determine her/his kindness.
- Observe acts and attitudes of kindness in the little things,watch for him to open the car door for you, does he thank you when you bring in the mail for her? Does he offer unsolicited compliments on your new sweater or blouse?
- Are basic acts and words of consideration; such as "please", "thank you"and "No thank you" a regular part of your partner's conversation? When you and your partner treat each other with the sort of kindness it will enrich your relationship, whether you eventually marry or not.
- The truly great marriages are those in which both partners express, reciprocate and appreciate kindness.
- When you are considering a person as a possible marriage partner, make sure he/she is a kind person. And while you are at it, be sure that the person whose face you see in your mirror is kind person as well.
Regards
Kiago

ADAPTABILITY

NUGGET 27: ADAPTATION- 6th August 2011
- One of the most crucial components to a good relationship is adaptability.
- If a man or a woman can maintain some flexibility , roll with the punches and adapt to various unforeseen circumstances of life, they have a much better chance of handling the stresses and strains that every marriage is bound to encounter.
- Adaptability stems from a good, solid self-conception. Show me a person who is able to adapt to the circumstances life throws at him, and I'll show somebody whose self-esteem is not tied to what he does, who knows his name, or what he has. He is able to adapt because deep inside he knows he is a person of value, so wherever he is or whatever he does, his life will continue to have intrinsic worth.
- Adaptability opens the doors to communication, negotiation and compromise.
- Most of us don't like change , we prefer our comfort zones, the tried and true, but sure enough, just about the time we begin to sit back and relax,something comes along to rock our world.
- Having a similar measure of adaptability should be a deciding factor concerning your future together.
Regards
Kiago

SOCIABILITY

NUGGET 26: DEGREE OF SOCIABILITY:4th August
- The degree to which 2 people want interpersonal relationships, pursue them, and do well with them needs to be similar if they are going to be matched well enough for marriage.
- Some people thrive on being with groups of people. Some prefer to be alone or with one person.
- Too much aloneness can spawn jealousy and possessiveness, which smother the other partner's personality.
- An overly possessive person does not feel secure; he/she doesn't possess that profound sense of significance. Meet possessiveness head on by saying, "something is wrong here, and it needs to be taken care of before progressing any further in this relationship."
- Don't marry a person that is overly possessive.
- People with satisfying lives have 3 to 5 friends of the same sex and one or two of the opposite sex.
- It would be a mistake to match a highly sociable person with someone who is not.


Regards
Kiago

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

NUGGET 25: RESOLVING CONFLICTS- 4th August 2011
- All marriages have conflicts.
- When you see a great marriage, often the 2 people are unique, lively personalities, and they have options or practices that vary from each other's. The couple experience disagreements over these differences, but the effort they put forth to work through their conflict actually makes their relation stronger and both of them better people.
- Don't run away from conflicts. Learn to deal with it.
- In a good relationship both partners must be good at resolving conflict. Those who do best in marriage are the couples who learn how to resolve disputes before they say "I do"
- If you are going to marry well, you must learn to deal with conflicts, how to understand them how to manage them, and how you can make them work for you instead of against you.
- You can't resolve a conflict by ignoring it, sweeping it under the rug, or pretending that it doesn't exist.
- Unresolved conflicts have an extremely high rate of resurrection
- Conflict resolution can be easily learnt.
- The 5 model to resolve conflict involves:
1. Acknowledge that having a conflicts is okay.
2. Allow your partner to explain why she/he feels the way she/he does-"seek to understand before you are understood"
3. Pinpoint precisely what you disagree about.
4. Compromise for the good of the relationship.
5. Congratulate each other for resolving any conflict.
- Avoid selfishness in a relationship.
- In a good relationship, the number of conflicts should go down over time.

Regards
Kiago