NUGGET 4: MANAGEMENT OF ANGER: 14th July 2011
We are in the journey again this time juggling the discords that prevent us from living to our fullest. Anger is okay if managed well. Thank God there are professionals who can help us in managing our anger. Just seek professional counselling. Marriages flourish when this skill is at the peek and collapse if this skill is not developed.
- If you have never gotten angry with one another in a a relationship, or never had a situation where you disagreed adamantly that you really become upset, then you have probably never learnt how to resolve conflicts.
- A good marriage requires/demands that you learn to manage your anger and resolve your conflicts.
- Absence of anger is never a plus in a relationship. At times its as a result of faking/acting. - The wise couple learn to deal with conflicts before they get married.
- Many marriages break every year because the couple do not know how to manage their anger in relation to each other. How a couple handle anger and conflicts can literally make or break the relationship.
HOW NOT TO MANAGE ANGER
- Its good to understand that anger itself is inherently not evil. It is a natural response that can propel persons toward noble goals. Anger can help us to stand up for what is morally right and can cause us to oppose injustice, inequities and oppressive behaviour.
- Anger is different from aggression. Whereas anger is a psychological response to something "wrong", aggression is a destructive response to anger, lashing out in revenge, ridicule, and verbal or physical abuse.
- Handled correctly, anger can be a positive thing. Unfortunately people explode with anger.
- Unbridled anger is expressed through loud yelling, verbal bombshells, pounding a wall or table, face slapping or threats of physical violence. People with these expressions have a problem, they need professional counselling.
- Unresolved anger causes the body's immune system to be weakened, making it more susceptible to attacks.
- There are others who turn their anger inward. They only see what is wrong with life rather than what is right. Thoughts of suicide are common to these people for they feel beaten down and seem to have little hope of seeing change.
- Don't proceed in a relationship if your partner turns anger inward. Let him/her seek first professional help.
- Anger is a secondary emotion. Its a consequence of something else in the relationship. Please try to discover it.
- Do not go to bed before you handle your anger.
- If he/she cannot handle/manage anger, she/he is not ready for the relationship.
Thanks and remain blessed....tomorrow we cover OBSTREPEROUSNESS
I remain
Kiago
