12th July 2011- NUGGET 2: EMOTIONAL HEALTH.
the history of a plane is very important before it is purchased. Its service routine and former mechanical breakdowns reveal of its mechanical soundness. Human beings are not an exception,they need check ups to ascertain their emotional health before their commitment in a relationship. Today we focus on Self-conception(this is how you view yourself). Welcome lets take the 2nd step......
- One great question a person asks counselors during counseling is, "What one word would you give me before I commit". The counselor would without hesitation, "GET YOURSELF HEALTHY BEFORE YOU GET YOURSELF MARRIED"
The health we are talking about here is emotional health.
- If you try to build intimacy with another person before you have done the hard work of getting yourself whole and healthy, all your relationships will become attempts to complete yourself.
- A person who has a good self-conception doesn't depend on any one else to provide validation and meaning for life. He/she is strong enough to face life alone if necessary.
- If you don't feel good about yourself and you don't like being who you are, then do not get into a relationship.
- A healthy person will look you in the eyes while talking with you rather than looking at the floor, their hands or somewhere else around the room. He/she is not defensive or anxious even if she/he disagrees with you. He/she does not control the conversation by talking too much. too fast, too loud. He/ she listens intently as you speak.
- Unusual shyness, feeling of worthlessness inadequacy, or insignificance, boastful behavior,or exhibiting bullying characteristics are signs of poor self-conception.
- Healthy people believe that they are significant, authentic,and a have an attitude of self-giving (are free to give love)
- Be careful with selfish characters
- Please observe these 3 things of healthy persons:
i) He/she will be generous with time, money and other resources
ii) He/she will be truthful almost to a fault because an unselfish person hates to see even a hint of deceit.
iii) She/he will be kind. True love always looks for dignity and well-being of the other person. She/ he seeks to give rather than take.
N/B: The relationship between 2 people can be no healthier than the emotional health of the least healthy person..
This ushers us to a one must read nugget tomorrow.
Blessings
Regards
Kiago
